50 Thoughts about Turning 50

This year I will be a half century old. It’s hard to believe, but true. I’m not one who normally talks about my birthday. Not because a higher number makes me want to crawl into a hole in an attempt to hide from Ms. Age. It’s just another day for me. In fact, I forgot my own birthday one year. But when it comes to the milestone birthdays, I brag for months and do something special. My plans for the mid-century mark? I’m really going big for this one. My first overseas trip halfway around the world to see some friends. And who knows? Maybe I’ll throw myself a birthday party once I return!

As I approach this major event in life, it stirs up the introspective mid-life thoughts and questions. So I started collecting these thoughts and settled on 50 of them. Of course.

  1. Some days my body tells me it’s 70 while others it says, “You’re still 30. Go for it!”
  2. This is the prime time of life.
  3. My best days are not behind me, nor are they ahead of me. My best day is every day I’m alive and taking steps toward my dreams.
  4. I’m noticing body parts, joints, and muscles I didn’t know existed.
  5. Mornings are getting harder and harder. They were already tough as a non-morning person. But I never dreamed they could get any tougher.
  6. Getting closer to senior citizen discounts!
  7. Seize every opportunity.
  8. Introspection becomes a daily habit.
  9. Being tired is a way of life.
  10. Time is moving faster or I’m getting slower. Or both.
  11. Life isn’t passing by. Only time passes by. (Boy is that deep!)
  12. I’m eligible for ourtime.com.
  13. Eating healthy and exercise are a must.
  14. As Popeye used to say, “I yam what I yam.”
  15. I’ll add to Popeye, “Stop trying to be like someone else or wishing you were like them.”
  16. Thoughts of death and planning a will intrude normal, everyday thoughts like what to fix for dinner.
  17. The bucket list gets bigger and smaller at the same time: items get added as others are crossed off.

At this point, I needed help. It could take until my 51st birthday to come up with 50 thoughts on my own. So the list continues with thoughts from some of my Facebook friends.

  1. Debbie H: At first I was very nervous [turning 50], but now I feel good about it.
  2. Cindy J: Don’t count what you missed in life, enjoy what is to come.
  3. Donna K: It is interesting to see how age changes our perspectives for the good, bad and fun of living.
  4. Don J: With each decade of our life we think we are getting old. But now 32 years later, 50 seems young. Just enjoy each year you have.
  5. Amber B: I went to the mailbox to see if there any cards, and yep, there was the AARP card!
  6. Pat W: Since we can live to a hundred years old, I would say the glass is half full at age 50, not half empty.
  7. Shelia S: Pretty is prettier. Funny is funnier. My body hurts most days but my heart doesn’t. Things are definitely better on this side of life!
  8. Connie H: Fifty can be freaky or fabulous! I chose fabulous!
  9. Niki G: I felt a freedom that released me to find myself, the true me, not the me that everyone expected me to be. Now I discover something new about myself every day.
  10. Connie S: It’s just a number. Take time to enjoy. I enjoy life more.
  11. Vicki M: Along with aging troubles come joys and blessings. Each day is a gift. Having experienced many bad days, it makes the good moments so much more special.
  12. Linda G: Life is too short to waste it on temporary things.
  13. Debbie R: I got a new perspective on so many things. Then my opinion on things, my outlook, my being relaxed and I love it! I still want to be the best me that I can be but it’s not for show to others but it’s for me and me alone.
  14. Bob J: Being half a century old isn’t that bad. Put this way…a fifty-year-old car is a classic.
  15. Rachel T: Turning 50 is a turning point and a time of convergence. Life gets sweeter and mellower.
  16. Dawn M: I dreamed bigger than ever when I hit 50…I always believe “the sky is the limit.” And even more so after 50.
  17. Russ V: I would tell my thoughts about turning 70, but you can’t print it on Facebook. (I just had to include this one for the laugh factor!)

Then my juices got flowing again—

  1. You’re still trying to find your way in life, which may turn in a different direction than you expected.
  2. They say age is relative. What does that mean anyway? It means it’s a relative you wish would leave you alone.
  3. Hello, age spots. Where have you been all my life?
  4. Doctors become your best friends after spending so much time together.
  5. Doctors’ phone numbers replace speed dials previously reserved for pizza joints.
  6. Inexplicable aches and pains.
  7. It’s okay to feel like a kid and do kid-like activities. (Think: catching lightning bugs, jumping in a pile of leaves, or making an eclipse projection box.)
  8. And don’t care what others think when they see you playing. Go ahead. Look strange.
  9. Never stop believing in yourself or fulfilling your dreams.
  10. It doesn’t matter how long you live. It’s the quality of those remaining years.
  11. Oh, to be able to sleep through the night without the bladder interrupting.
  12. It’s never too late to pursue your dreams. And don’t let fear or your age stop you.
  13. It’s a great time to accomplish “firsts.”
  14. Don’t miss opportunities to leave a legacy.
  15. Ride the wind. Relax, see where it takes you. And don’t sweat the small stuff.
  16. Now, why aren’t my sunglasses in their case? Oh, they’re in my hand.

When I asked some of my fellow new 50-year-olds their thoughts on turning 50, they claimed they felt no different. I think they may have been lying. It was fun compiling and collecting these thoughts, even though it was challenging at times. What I gathered from my friends has inspired me to embrace the next 50 years, or whatever years I have, in a new way.

Whether you’re younger or older, what thoughts would you add to the list? Add them to the comments below.


Personal Paradoxes

The older I get, the more introspective I get. The more I learn, or realize, about myself. Sometimes I like what I learn and others, not so much. In books and articles that teach about writing, they all say to make your characters multi-dimensional. To give them contradictions in their personalities. For instance, someone who follows all the rules but always drives over the speed limit. I’ve discovered some of these contradictions in my own personality and I’ve given them the term, “personal paradoxes.” I would wager that everyone has their own paradoxes. If they look closely. Here are a few of mine.

Organized Slob
A phrase coined for myself years ago. My home may have stuff on the floor, the coffee table may be covered with trash or books or both, and my desk can be invisible to the naked eye. Yet if you were to look in the drawers and closets, everything is organized and in its place. In my past life, I had two perfectionists for roommates. Two separate times. As you can imagine, it was not pretty. For their sake. One of them was so particular, she ironed her sheets. But the socks in her drawer weren’t matched up. I asked her about this once, because it made no sense to me. She said, “No one sees inside the drawers and closets.” Okay, but it still didn’t make sense. To me, anyway. Ironing sheets and searching for matching socks were two time wasters, in my opinion. The other roommate almost lost her life. We were in college, and I was in the middle of homework at the coffee table when I took a break. I came back from my walk to find my papers all in one pile, on my bed. It looked like a mess to her, but I knew what was what among the piles of notes and research. PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Never touch an organized person’s stuff. If you value your life, just don’t.

Impatient Procrastinator
This one is a recent discovery. I’ve called myself the Queen of Procrastination for a while now. I’ve also always been impatient but never put the two together. See, while I am impatient, I’m slow at getting things accomplished. One time, my boss told me that my slowness (laid back attitude towards tasks) frustrated him; but once he realized that I’ll get it done, he relaxed a bit (at least that’s how I remember the conversation). So where does my impatience come into play? Well, there’s something within me that just can’t go below the speed limit. The 25mph zones are my enemy. Three times I’ve been pulled over for going 40mph on those streets. I also will not arrive late to anything. That is a result of my childhood, which is a story for another blog. So while I’m slow at completing things or I put things off, when it comes to certain things I will not wait until the last minute. Here’s a prime example: The day I started working on this blog, I was at the church where I work. There was an event to get ready for, and I arrived three hours beforehand to set up. All because I didn’t want to rush around minutes before it started. I live a complicated life!

Impulsive Planner
I’m a planner. Always have been. When I was in college, I would appear to be taking notes when in reality I was plotting out the rest of my day. It was one way for me to stay awake during 7:30 am classes and a way to make sure I got homework done that afternoon. I’m to the extreme now. Each month I plot out my time and then use that calendar to schedule each week in detail. Now, even though I plan out my time, it doesn’t mean I follow it. Here’s an example: A few months ago, my sister (who lives in Texas) let me know she was going to be in Pittsburgh for business and wanted to get together. Sure. Great. No problem. Pittsburgh is only two and a half hours away. The plan was to just spend the day since she had a meeting with a colleague for dinner, plus I needed to be home at a decent time. Well, the night before the outing, I discovered the Cubs were playing on the Pirates’ turf. I think you can see where this is going (if you’ve read a previous blog, “Lessons From Baseball“). I forgot all about the “need” to be home early. We got tickets and I stayed the night.

As humans, we are complex creatures. Men don’t understand women, women can’t understand men, and we can’t even understand ourselves at times. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s more of a fun thing. It’s fun to learn stuff about ourselves and how we operate. Then once we know what makes us tick, we can embrace it and really flourish in life, work, and play.

What are some of your own personal paradoxes?

Gratitude Journal

Gratitude. It’s something we tend to take for granted. Maybe because it’s easier to complain and find the negative side of things. But feeling and expressing gratitude is good for our health. A few months ago the health website I use posted an article about things to do in the evening to prepare for the next day. One of the things mentioned was a gratitude journal. Since this was about the third article I had read about keeping a gratitude journal, I took the hint and decided it was worth a shot. I wasn’t prepared for what I would learn.

The idea is simple. Make a list of three items you’re thankful for. Some days it’s not as easy as you might think. There are those brain dead days when wires don’t connect. In fact, I’ve skipped a day or two here and there. Okay, maybe a few days at a time. Alright, even a week has gone by without any entries. What can I say? I’m never consistent at anything. But here are a few things I’ve learned.

  1. Throughout the day, I pay attention to things I can record in the journal.
  2. It’s easier to turn a negative to a positive when I’m paying attention. For example: one day I entered, “Quiet days in the office when I can really get things done.” I believe that particular day was not one of those days. However, I noticed something I am grateful for when it happens.
  3. It can be anything. Something minor like “donuts” to something big like, “friends who have my back.” I even have an entry that says, “Gourmet popcorn. Enough said.” After all, it’s the little things in life!
  4. I’m more content with how things are rather than wishing they were different. (Alright, this happens more when I’m consistent with entries.)
  5. It gives a more positive view of life and the world.
  6. I even took a negative experience and turned it into a grateful point. (I was so good on this one, even I can’t  figure out which entry it was.)
  7. It can be on any subject: spiritual, health, relationships, or even something silly like a favorite TV show.
  8. Occasionally, there are things I’m doubly grateful for since they’ve been entered more than once. Like “Hallmark movies” and “walking friends.” And that’s okay.

Every gratitude journal doesn’t have to look the same. It can be wordy, a paragraph, a page, or short sentences. Entries can be general or specific. Many of my entries are so vague, I couldn’t say what happened to cause me to be thankful for them. Then there are days when one grateful item stands out above the rest.

This is one of those days. With today being Memorial Day, 100% of my gratitude is for those who have served and sacrificed to fight for and protect our country. I think about and am thankful for those in my own family line who fought or served in the wars throughout our country’s history, going all the way back to the Revolutionary War. While none of them lost their lives while serving, they all sacrificed something to do what they did. And I honor them for it.

Have you ever created a gratitude journal? What kind of things are you thankful for?

Lessons From Baseball

Baseball season has begun, and I’m anxious to see if my team can do a repeat of the 2016 season. I am a diehard Chicago Cubs fan. In fact, I usually tell people I was born a Cubs fan. I’ve never been ashamed to claim them as my own, no matter how many losing seasons they had or how close they came to getting the job done. Even when I came face to face with a disgusted look preceding the incredulous question, “Why,” I stayed true to the Cubbies. The hard time came when they went up against the Cleveland Indians in the 2016 World Series. Why? Because I live near Cleveland, and my Indians friends did not take it easy on me. I’ll admit it. I returned the smack talk. As I followed the Cubs and Indians through the 2016 postseason and World Series, I observed four things we can learn from baseball teams and their fans.

Despite the century long drought the Cubs suffered in the life of their ball club, their fans never wavered in their loyalty. And I don’t think this is exclusive of Cubs fans. I’ve seen it over the years with Indians fans who have experienced their own drought. I saw it with Red Sox fans when I lived in New England. Loyalty is a good characteristic to have, whether it’s for your favorite sports team or a job or a friend. The heart of loyalty is being faithful through thick and thin. Through the good and bad.

Never lose hope. Whatever we face in life, good or bad, we can have hope. Cubs fans, and Indians fans alike, never lost their hope. When their team failed to get to the Fall Classic, they proclaimed the mantra, “There’s always next year.” And next year always came with a renewed hope and effort. When the Indians were up 3 games to 1 in the Series, the Cubs didn’t lose their hope to come back. When the Indians were down 6-3 in the bottom of the 7th inning of Game 7, they didn’t give up hope. When Game 7 was tied in the 8th inning interrupted by a rain delay, neither team gave up hope.

The dictionary describes hope as, “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” What hopes do you have for your life? Whatever they are, don’t give up hope.

I’ve heard some say they can’t stand baseball, because it’s like watching paint dry. Yes, that can be true at times. However, when attending a live game or watching it with friends on TV, it has a whole new dynamic. Even if the home team is losing, the fans have fun spending time with each other. Memories are made no matter the outcome of the game. I had a few of my Indians friends over for one of the World Series games. It was my own version of a Super Bowl party. While my team lost that particular game, it was a fun night of friendly banter and tons of laughter.

Years ago, a friend handed me an envelope and said, “This is to write a wrong.” At first, I had no idea what he was talking about. Then I opened the envelope. It contained four tickets to a Red Sox/Yankees game at Fenway Park. A few weeks prior, we had a conversation when I admitted I had never been to a professional baseball game. That’s right. I grew up a Cubs fan in Illinois and never made it to Wrigley Field for a Cubs game. It’s sad, I know. Even though I wasn’t a fan of either team playing at Fenway, I rounded up some friends and had a blast at my first big game.

It doesn’t matter whether your team is winning or losing, fun is at the center. Enjoy time with your friends and family. Even if life is throwing a curve ball your way, find the positive and enjoy life.

Determination & Perseverance
During the 2016 Series, I noticed determination in both teams. Neither the Cubs nor the Indians were going down without a fight. Each one of the seven games, the players pushed through and persevered. Sure, one team had to lose at the end of each game, but each one was determined to do their best to win the game.

There may be times when we feel like an opposing team is trying to beat us down. When that happens, push through and fight back. We may lose that particular game or battle, but there will always be battles in life that we will win. If we’re determined to persevere.

Baseball is my favorite sport; and it doesn’t matter who’s playing, I’ll go to a game and cheer on the home team. I still haven’t made it for a game at Wrigley, but I have seen the Cubs play the Indians twice in Cleveland. After this last Thanksgiving, though, I can at least say I’ve been to Wrigley. I took a detour on my way to Minnesota and stopped by for a quick visit. I felt like a kid going to my first ball game. It was hard to maneuver my car through the narrow streets when all I wanted to do was look at the park while jumping up and down in my seat. Maybe that’s the main lesson to learn from baseball: become like a kid and enjoy the moment.

Look at that beautiful sign behind me!

Do you have a favorite team? What lessons have you learned from watching them?


Conversations With Hunter

Five states and 750 miles can’t keep me away from four of the cutest and funnest kids in the Midwest. I’m privileged to be their Great Aunt, emphasis on GREAT, and they range from one to eleven years old. After visiting my niece’s family in the arctic north a couple of times, I decided to keep a record of conversations with preschool-aged Hunter during another Thanksgiving visit with them. He had already provided a plethora of quips that only a preschooler could give, I had no choice but to keep track of them. The 3- to 5-year-old range has always been my favorite age of kids, because of their silly sayings, behaviors, and honesty. They don’t intend to be funny; they just can’t help it. It comes naturally for them. So the following is a collection of conversations that I have had or observed with Hunter over the past year.

Cleaning Critic
We had just finished dinner, but Hunter was still working on his. Out of nowhere, Hunter said something ineligible followed by “is a mess.”

Hunter's photography skills after I left my camera behind.

Hunter’s photography skills after I left my camera behind.

So I asked for clarification, “What’s a mess?”

He simply replied, “Our house.”

I looked at my niece and said, “Well, there you have it!”

Lunchtime Logic
Hunter was sitting by himself at the table with a Kindle next to his lunch, learning to multi-task at an early age. Because he has trouble eating all his food, I checked in on him.

“Hunter, did you eat all your mac and cheese?”



Topsy Tornado
We had celebrated our family Christmas since we were all together for Thanksgiving, and I realized Hunter hadn’t been seen in a while so I went on the hunt. I found him in his room with toys for new carpet.

I asked and stated the obvious, “What’re you doing? Looks like you’re making a mess.”


“Looks like a tornado went through here. Are you the tornado?”


Butt Boy
Daddy was getting Hunter ready for bed and was goofing around with him. As an observer and the silly great aunt that I am, I joined in the fun. “Hunter, you’re a silly butt.”

Hands on his stomach, he proclaimed, “No! No silly butt. Hunter butt!”

Fowl Education
We were basking in the summer evening around the fire pit after celebrating my niece’s 40th birthday, when I saw a gaggle of geese fly overhead.

“Hunter, look at the geese up there.”

“Those aren’t geese. Those are birds!”

“Oh, I stand corrected.”

Breakfast Big Boy
We were sitting at the table for breakfast, and I noticed he was devouring his food. “You’re doing a really good job eating all your food this morning.”

Matter-of-factly, he said, “Yeah, I’m a big boy.”

Polite Orders
At his mom’s 40th birthday party, Hunter was jumping on a small trampoline while firing a squirt gun. (A skill of coordination I wish I had.) He left for a little while only to return to find a few older kids sitting on it. Instead of telling them to get off because he had been playing on it, he yelled, “Get off the trampoline, PLEASE!!” At least he was polite about it.

Birthday Bash
Hunter and I have the same birthday, but we only celebrate his birthday. He turned four, after all, so it’s more important for him to celebrate. We were getting the cake ready with the candles when his daddy started this conversation with him.

Daddy: Who’s birthday is it?
Hunter: Mine!
Daddy: Who else’s?
Hunter: Mine!
Daddy: It’s Pam’s too.
Hunter: No, it’s mine!
Daddy: You share your birthday.
Hunter: (With an incredulous voice) No. You can’t share a birthday.

Sometimes the logic of a preschooler just can’t be argued with. All you can do is either laugh or walk away shaking your head in awe. During my waitressing days, I once had a little girl get indignant with me when I cautioned her to be careful since her hot chocolate was really hot. “Well of course it is. It’s hot chocolate!” I laughed while her mom apologized for her being “fresh.” A preschooler’s logic just makes sense at times. These conversations bring a smile to my face every time I read them, and I am so glad I recorded them. Because one day soon this young boy will be grown up and his little boy’s logic will be grown up with him.

Our family this past July.

Our family this past July.

The Love of a Dad

Father’s Day is rounding the corner, and I realized I’ve written a couple of blogs about my mom but not my dad. (You can go here to read the most recent one on Mom.) While he had his faults, my dad was a great guy. He quit high school to join the Army during World War II, and then ended up being discharged months later due to flat feet. Or at least that’s the story I’ve heard all my life. Dad was one goofy guy and loved by many. Like a typical teenager, I thought he was embarrassing. (Sorry, Dad.) During one of his college visits, I had friends say to me, “Your dad is so funny.”

“Really? Are you sure you’re talking about MY dad? The gray haired hillbilly with no teeth?” They confirmed it was the right guy. That was probably the moment my embarrassment started to turn into admiration.

His life was filled with love. Ever since his death in 1999 at the ripe age of 75, I have reflected about the things he loved, several of which he passed on to me.

A prime example of my dad's fishing skills!

Look at that whopper of a fish!

Love of Fishing
Now I can’t say that I’m a great fisherman. That would be a bigger fish tale than, “I had one THIS big and it got away.” But I loved the times he took us fishing. He showed me how to put the worm on the hook and how to cast the line. A lesson that didn’t take very well since I hooked myself on the back of the knee once. But he was there to take it out and tell me I was fine. It was more than the quality or quantity of fish we caught. It was the time spent together that was invaluable.

Love for People
I think I felt embarrassed by my dad because he knew no strangers. Me, on the other hand, was so shy I barely talked to people I knew. And it wasn’t just that he would talk to anyone. He would talk about anything and everything. Basically with dad, what you saw was what you got. He didn’t put on pretenses and didn’t try to be something he wasn’t. This is something I hope I have achieved in my life.

Love for God
This is probably one of the most treasured aspects about my dad that I loved. He wasn’t a preacher, nor did he try to talk people into following Christ. He just loved them through his actions. He helped numerous people when they needed it, whatever the need. It was the only thing that came before his love of family. (I’m smiling right now just thinking about this.) It was an unusual occurrence if Dad didn’t have tears in his eyes when people were being touched by God at a church service. His lips would quiver, and he’d get a little chuckle in his throat. I hate to admit this in such a public manner, but I’m the same way when it comes to God’s presence touching people’s lives. (Without the quivering lips, though.) Even though he was a talker, he wasn’t much for talking on the phone. Unless he had just gotten back from a church men’s retreat, and then I could hardly get him off the phone. (And now I’m starting to cry.)

Love for Family
I don’t think there was anything he wouldn’t have done for his girls. The poor man had to live with five women, fortunately only four of them at a time. (As if that makes it  any better.) With a seventeen-year gap between oldest and youngest, he basically raised two different families. (I always felt sorry for him.) He took the train all the way to Boston so he could help me move back to Ohio, and I believe he did the same thing for two of my other sisters: one moved from Illinois to Minnesota and the other one to California while the third stayed in our hometown.

My sister and I with Dad on one of our many camping trips.

My sister and I with Dad on one of our many camping trips. (I’m the cute, short one with a stain on my shirt.)

Love of Camping
This love of Dad’s was probably equal to his love of fishing. After all, with almost every camping adventure, fishing was involved. We started out with a pop-up camper, then graduated to a small “upright” camper where I slept on the bunk that was about one foot from the ceiling. Eventually, we went a little bigger where the bunk gave me more breathing room and fewer nosebleeds. Just about every vacation involved the camper. By the time I graduated high school, we had been to almost all fifty states minus the northwest and northeast. Most of those states were seen with the camper hitched to the back of the vehicle. My sister or I would stand next to the camper and direct Dad in backing up the car to the hitch. We may not have been able to drive yet, but we knew how to direct him in hooking up a trailer.

Love of Trains
This was a huge love of Dad’s. I guess it would be after spending four decades on the railroad. This is one love I inherited from him. I even followed in his footsteps and worked for a railroad. Okay, it was a scenic railroad but still, it was one of my favorite jobs. His nickname on the railroad was Skeepo or Skeep for short. To this day, I have no idea how in the world he got that nickname.

His railroad crew just outside the depot in my hometown. Dad is third from the right.

His railroad crew just outside the depot in my hometown. Dad is third from the right.

Love of Stories
Oh my word, did he love to tell a good story. His stories weren’t made up, though. They were his own experiences. He would talk about his railroad days or growing up in Iowa. The only story he refused to tell was his romance with Mom. For some reason, he was shy about that. It wasn’t until I thought of his storytelling that I realized I’ve inherited this love of his. Like Dad, I share stories of my own experiences. However, I also love to put those stories on paper, especially the ones that are purely my vivid imagination.

I realize not everyone has a dad who loved them or even showed them love, and that breaks my heart. Even though my dad wasn’t perfect, he did the best he knew how and I wish everyone would have a loving father. While my dad never told me he loved me, I knew he did from his actions. The time he spent with me working on cars, fishing, and wrestling me on the living room floor are all things I treasure. (Confession: our wrestling matches usually ended up with him sitting on me.)

One of my favorites with Dad.

One of my favorites with Dad.

What are some things your dad loves or things you love about your dad? I’d love to hear one of your favorite dad stories!